A U.S. Army soldier analyzes your civilian camo

We're guessing that the extent of your wartime action is probably limited to the Overgrown map in Call of Duty. But just 'cause you haven't earned your stripes doesn't mean your clothing isn't field-ready, according to the U.S. Army soldier we brought in to comment on the battlefield history and application of our favorite camo pieces.

And, since most of your battles will likely continue to be waged from the couch (F@$KING NOOB TUBE), we also tell you how to rock them in civilian life.

Cheat sheet: Camo field guide
His take: “This is almost a complete replica of the Navy’s digital pattern used in their utility uniform. Sailors are near the water, in the water, or on a ship meant to blend in with water.”
Effectiveness in battle: “The fabric will not dry very easy, there may be a complete lack of pockets, and the tightness is probably going to have Sergeants Major going crazy. But, overall, it will blend in when you’re in a marine environment.”
Effectiveness in your life: The tapered fit and modern pattern takes this from the “high school gym sweats” realm, and makes it “I have my sh*t together, even when I’m loungin'”.

His take: “This may work in any type of desert environment.  When I say desert, I do not mean strictly mountains of sand. I mean a dry, rocky environment that tends to lack much vegetation beyond knee-to-chest high brush and tumbleweed.”
Effectiveness in battle: “The solid blue pockets don’t really add any type of advantage, but they won’t necessarily ‘stick out’. I am all in.”
Effectiveness in your life: This lightweight Spring jacket with contrasting pockets is gonna keep you feeling as fresh as you look.
His take: “Dark blues, purples, and some marine color greens could make this a possible candidate for use in a marine environment, or even a dark city environment. But because those two are very different and precise, it would not be applicable across any one operating environment.
Effectiveness in battle: Our soldier says he would only wear this if he found himself on "a stone-covered beach in Cape Cod..."
Effectiveness in your life: ...which is precisely why we like it. Cape, ho!
His take: “Some units prefer to ‘mix and match’ camo to better blend in with their environment. That is the same idea with this pattern between the arms and torso. But instead of vertically differing the colors, this jacket went lateral.  Maybe the idea is to stand with your back centered on a tree? Who knows, it might work.”
Effectiveness in battle: Yeah, this would only work... if the enemy was "on the other side of the tree.”
Effectiveness in your life: Well played, soldier. But, in civilian life, the vintage racing style and contrast details are going to protect you from the real enemy: being a badly dressed dude.
His take
: “The entire pattern and color scheme is modeled closely after the Cape Verde Army’s Lizard Pattern. This color scheme would be applicable to a woodland environment, but the pattern itself contains elongated strokes of color, making it stand out amongst leaves, trees and rocks.”
Effectiveness in battle: “It’ll only be useful in several precise areas of the world. Places which would have to contain thick vegetation with long, drooping leaves, branches and vines.”
Effectiveness in your life: ... or your local watering hole. This is a statement piece, so make sure to treat it that way (i.e. pair it with a clean, slick pair of chinos and a simple shirt.)
His take: “This pattern closely resembles the old tiger stripe pattern used by the British in Burma and Germans in WWII.”
Effectiveness in battle“These will keep you fly on the battlefield”, but climbing and running in them with a 20-pound rucksack on is not recommended.
Effectiveness in your life: Our soldier adds, “the laces would make you standout like a fat kid in a marathon.” While sticking out in the field is a recipe for a bullet wound, getting noticed on the streets is what we strive for. And the contrast of those orange laces -- as compared to the earth-toned colors on the rest of the shoe -- will help you escape the dredges of footwear monotony.
His take
: “This utilizes commonly found woodland colors, but the pattern itself is somewhat unrecognizable in regards to previously used formats. This pattern and color scheme would be effective in a heavily wooded area or in the fertile plains of Africa."
Effectiveness in battle: “This camo would help.”
Effectiveness in your life: This bag's made from durable, washable material -- so you can rest easy on your way to Africa when the bag-handler uses it as a battering ram/rag to clean up engine oil.
His take: “This would be great in a rocky environment with little vegetation, but it would not do very well in an urban setting.”
Effectiveness in battle: “If wielded correctly, this pattern will surely help me remain unseen. But three small pockets means only three extra mags, and that just isn’t going to cut it.”
Effectiveness in your life:  While you might have to leave your mags at home, you can leave the house with your phone, wallet, and keys comfortably stowed away in this slick blazer.
His take: “This pattern very closely emulates U.S. Multicam, but goes real heavy on the tan. It would be great in a rocky environment."
Effectiveness in battle: “Start repainting the vehicles, because this will work.”
Effectiveness in your life: These are a staple piece meant to be the focal point of your outfit. All that’s left to get yourself field-ready is to throw on a plain tee and a pair of sneakers.
His take
: “This resembles the BDU pattern, but it is shrunken in size. It’s very applicable to a jungle-like environment.  Dense vegetation filled with greens and browns make this a worthy candidate to be worn in combat.”
Effectiveness in battle: “This is going to help you, without a doubt.”
Effectiveness in your life: These pants offer a cool foundation to wear with blues and browns -- and they’ll give you cover if you happen to run into your crazy ex at the park.

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