What do chariot racing champions, felony prevention, and Old Blue Eyes have in common? Green, which you’ll be surprised to learn is basically the most killer color of all time. Why should you be ridiculously proud of yourself every time you rock it? Because all this:
It Almost Toppled An Empire
During the Byzantine era, chariot races were epic, riot-sparking displays dominated by two teams: Green and Blue, the club backed by the emperor Justinian, and therefore the lame, popular team to root for. In 532 supporters of both teams united against Justinian and the subsequent unruliness made hooligans look like… people called “hooligans”, which is not a very threatening sounding name.
It Eventually Kicked Blue’s Butt
The traditional color of the Order of Saint Patrick? Blue. The color that all but booted blue out of St. Pat’s picture when Irishmen took on the clover as a symbol during the 19th-century? Green.
It’s Been The Color Of Billiards For 600 Years
Billiards originally entailed hitting balls around your English lawn. But limiting your opportunities for casual sport to the rainy outdoors makes very little sense even for people who thought witches caused colds. So around the mid-1400s indoor tables happened, and the covers were made green to remind people that nature existed.
People Died For Green Dye
In the Middle Ages, natural green dyes boiled from plants would fade and break down faster than most other colors. “What about artificial dyes?” you ask? Well most of them contained arsenic, which didn’t stop people from trying. It’s pretty sweet that we can wear green nowadays without poisoning ourselves. Thanks, technology.
It’s Historically For Ballers Only
In Medieval times, red was reserved for royalty, while peasants wore black/gray, mainly because dyes were expensive. So as a sign of social rank, bankers, merchants, country gentleman, and even Mona Lisa took to wearing the green. In other words, skip the three-piece -- a green tee is apparently gentlemanly enough.
The Fastest Cars In The World Have Worn It
The 1903 World Grand Prix was the first year of the race that required each country to pick a color for their cars. The Brits went with a deep shade of green in honor of host country Ireland. The shade was used for many years after, and has since been named British Racing Green (way to think outside the box, England!).
It’s Super Sexy
From the goddess Venus, to “Green Man” (not the Always Sunny bit, but art and mythology depicting anthropomorphic fertility beings going back thousands of years across dozens of cultures), to green M&Ms supposedly being aphrodisiacs, this has always been the color of vitality and sexuality.
It Fights Crime
Even the US Mint isn’t exactly sure why our bucks are green, but it’s posited that after the invention of the camera, a green tint was added to prevent counterfeiters from straight up photographing and printing their own bills. Believe it or not, the world itself wasn’t in black & white back then, just the camera film.
It Delivers Punishment
First airing in 1979, the Canadian sketch-comedy-meets-gameshow You Can’t Do That On Television is credited with introducing Nickelodeon’s iconic slime. Later, they merchandised everything from slime-centric toys to green shampoo, and even backed their logo with the colorful goo. Why? I don’t know… ahhhhh!
It Makes You An OG
From 1952 through the Vietnam War, the official color for military camo was called Olive Green 107, or OG-107 for short.
It Formed A Supergroup
As if Kermit’s croons weren’t enough, Jim Henson’s tune “Bein’ Green” has been recorded and performed dozens of times since 1970 by everyone from Frank Sinatra to Van Morrison to Cee-Lo Green. It even inspired a 2011 Muppets tribute called The Green Album, probably with naming advice from those wit masters in England.